Festival Jokes

|A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?""You'll know tonight." he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
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|A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
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|? Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help. ? Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow. ? Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. ? For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. ? Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
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|A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.
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|Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
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|10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing a mask! 5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or...
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|The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween HandoutsSpinach flavored Rice Cakes.Teeth removing TaffyMetamucil in a strawEx-Lax BrowniesCaramel Covered ZucchiniColored Crisco on a StickHot steaming bowl of pumpkin gutsChocolate Covered PrunesA Handful of Red ManAnything that ticks!
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|1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed!2. Be thankful your computer isn't down!3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down!4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus!5. Be thankful your server isn't down!6. Be thankful for a vast selection of Web sites to browse!7. Be thankful no one knows who you really are!8.
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|It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went."Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.
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|The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line.
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