Foreigners
A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenlyhe notices a fine looking hooker looking at him.He stops, bangs on the window and says,"So, what does this cost ??!!".And the hooker replies,"25 dollars !!".And the Pollock said ,"Hmm, that's not a lot of money for insulatedwindows !!".
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:"How large is the population here?""Around 1.5 billion" -- the guide answersAmerican, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
A 10pm curfew was imposed in BelfastEverybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot.However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm."Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer."I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge."Toilette pepper!"
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Australia.Where men are real menAnd sheep are scared shitlessAnd where the term 'Going Down Under' means something entirely different
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at itcause it was prettier than most.The clerk said, "It's made in Germany".I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then".The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?"I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: "Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Category: Foreigners - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
A man went to the market this last week to buy Valentines' cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him.He muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have cards for ex-spouses."The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes sir, they do have an 'ex' category, but they're in Sporting Goods.""Really?""Yes sir.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Personally I think one of the greatest things
about
marriage is that
as both husband and Father, I can say
anything I want to around the
house.
Of course, no one pays the
least bit of attention.
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about
marriage is that
as both husband and Father, I can say
anything I want to around the
house.
Of course, no one pays the
least bit of attention.
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It was a
particularly tough football game,
and nerves were on edge. The home team had
been the victim of three
or four close calls, and they were now
trailing the visitors by a
touch-down and a field goal. When the official
called yet another
close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback
blew his
top.
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particularly tough football game,
and nerves were on edge. The home team had
been the victim of three
or four close calls, and they were now
trailing the visitors by a
touch-down and a field goal. When the official
called yet another
close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback
blew his
top.
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Q. What's worse
than finding a worm in the
apple you're eating?
A. Finding half a worm.
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than finding a worm in the
apple you're eating?
A. Finding half a worm.
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A man walking down the beach, sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie emerges.She says "normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son of a bitch, I am going to grant only 1".
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
The first book of the Bible is Guiness, in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.The Jews had trouble throughout their history with the unsympathetic Genitals.Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apolstles.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for
your girlfriend improve her appearance ?
Man: It did for a while -
then it fell off.
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your girlfriend improve her appearance ?
Man: It did for a while -
then it fell off.
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Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
Category: ROOT - 0 Comments
Category: ROOT - 0 Comments
A man was speeding down a Alabama highway,
feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed.
However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared
speed
detector and was pulled over.
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feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed.
However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared
speed
detector and was pulled over.
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"What's the biggest fish you ever caught?"
"That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's
not so big!" "Between the eyes?"
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"That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's
not so big!" "Between the eyes?"
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