Irish Jokes
|Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi... Darn! There goes another one!"
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye say there?" The agent said, "Certainly ye have...Why d'ye ask?" Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale...
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking.
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|Barty was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Barty shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there." Mick leaned out and grabbed Barty's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail.
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|Pat and Jimmy-Joe met and one said to the other, "Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?" Pat said, "Well, I have and I haven't." His friend asked, "Shure, and what d'ye mean by that?" Pat said, "It's like this, y'see...I saw a chap who I thought was Mulligan, and he saw a chap that he thought was me. And when we got up to one another...
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|Pat and Jimmy-Joe met and one said to the other, "Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?" Pat said, "Well, I have and I haven't." His friend asked, "Shure, and what d'ye mean by that?" Pat said, "It's like this, y'see...I saw a chap who I thought was Mulligan, and he saw a chap that he thought was me. And when we got up to one another...
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. "Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I'm afraid he's goin' to die." "Shure, an' why would he be dyin'?" asked the other. "Ah, he's gotten so thin. You're thin enough, and I'm thin -- but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is thinner than both of us put together."
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99" replied the shop owner "Give us the lot" said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off.
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy "Jez, that look like Sean" to which Paddy replied "No Sean was taller than that"
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
|It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to holler ..."Seamus ... Seamus ... the wind is cutt'n me chest out!" "Well, Paddy my lad," said Seamus, "why don't you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back ...
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
|A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world . . .* United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less on shampoo. 2) Dress blues.
Category: Military Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Military Jokes - 0 Comments
A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Father Christmas: All right, my good lady,
my face is my ticket.
Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch
out... there's a feller
inside who has the job of punching the
tickets.
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my face is my ticket.
Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch
out... there's a feller
inside who has the job of punching the
tickets.
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A Engineer and an Programmer are sitting next
to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Engineer leans
over
to the Programmer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The
Programmer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines
and rolls over
to the window to catch a few winks.
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to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Engineer leans
over
to the Programmer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The
Programmer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines
and rolls over
to the window to catch a few winks.
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Redmond,
WA --Microsoft announced today
that the official release date for the
new operating system "Windows
2000" will be delayed until the second
quarter of 1901.
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WA --Microsoft announced today
that the official release date for the
new operating system "Windows
2000" will be delayed until the second
quarter of 1901.
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|The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions."Ever have an accident?""Nope, nary a one.""None? You've never had any accidents.""Nope. Ain't never had one. Never.""Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?""Heck, no.
Category: Red Indian Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Red Indian Jokes - 0 Comments
Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit
have in
common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
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have in
common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
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|The most dangerous organization in America today is:a) The KKKb) The American Nazi Partyc) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club
Category: Aviation Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Aviation Jokes - 0 Comments
Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Do you know a
favourite expression used by
the Gorillas?
Apesy daisy!
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favourite expression used by
the Gorillas?
Apesy daisy!
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