Lawyer Jokes
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there.
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course we do," replied the bartender."Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my gator."
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy.
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there.
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Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with money thinking he could pick them up on his way to heaven. Several weeks after his funeral the widow found two pillowcases full of cash in the attic. "The old fool," she thought, "I knew I should have left them in the basement!"
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Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
What do a lawyer and sperm have in common?They both have a one in a million chance of being human.
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Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?A good start!
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Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant of a one-pound brain. The doctor then asked, "What type of brain do you want?" "What type?" the woman asked. "Yes," replied the doctor. "There is a substantial difference in price.
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Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear.
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Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." "That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." "Thank you, Amie," said the teacher.
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Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
A blonde calls
her husband at work one day
and asks him, "Can you help me when you
get home?"
"Sure,"
he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard
puzzle and I can't even find the edge
pieces."
"Look on
the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the
puzzle is.
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her husband at work one day
and asks him, "Can you help me when you
get home?"
"Sure,"
he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard
puzzle and I can't even find the edge
pieces."
"Look on
the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the
puzzle is.
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1) Never eat at a place called Mom's 2) Never play cards with a man named 'Doc' 3) Never get in bed with a girl that has more problems than you have.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous
snake ?
Someone else's !
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snake ?
Someone else's !
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Q: What is dumber than the Blonde jokes
above?
A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.
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above?
A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.
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Did you hear about the bear hunter?
Well, he was out hunting for bears one day, and soon came across a
large, trophy sized bear. He raised his rifle and took careful aim.
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Well, he was out hunting for bears one day, and soon came across a
large, trophy sized bear. He raised his rifle and took careful aim.
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Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey... My Love... Darling... Sweetheart... Pumpkin, etc.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What's the difference between a faggot and a queer?A: A faggot won't go downtown with you to beat up queers!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? What do chickens think we taste like? What do people in China call their good plates? What do you call a male ladybug? What hair color do they put on the drivers license of a bald man? When dog
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling.
During an oral
spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on
the
blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we
have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After a moment's
reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
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During an oral
spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on
the
blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we
have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After a moment's
reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
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