Legal
Attorney to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?"Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?"Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble inthe countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room fortwo to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.""No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for fortyyears.
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "canyou get pregnant from anal intercourse?""Certainly," replies the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
What's the difference between a lawyer and atrampoline?You should take your workboots off beforeyou jump on a trampoline.
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
What is the proper weight for an attorney?About 3 pounds, .......not counting the urn!
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford tobe screwed for?
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?How many can you afford?
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
What is the worst thing about our justice system? You're leaving your fate in the hands of 12 people whoweren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
A hill country husband died and left everything to his wife.He put a provision in his will though that she couldn't touchany of it until she turned 14.
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
There were 4 monkeys in a tree.Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?- It died.Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?- It was tied on to the first monkey.Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?- It got hit by the first two.Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?- Peer pressure.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
What do you get if you cross a telephone
and a marriage bureau ?
A wedding ring !
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and a marriage bureau ?
A wedding ring !
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A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble inthe countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room fortwo to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.""No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for fortyyears.
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in
a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they'll insist on going through
about 5 bulbs before
they find one that suits this particular room
and situation.
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a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they'll insist on going through
about 5 bulbs before
they find one that suits this particular room
and situation.
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Q: How many Leos does it take to change a
lightbulb? A: None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it.
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lightbulb? A: None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it.
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Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond
of fish. She was also
rather deaf, which was great for the children
in her class.
"What Mrs Smith needs," said one of her colleagues,
"is a
herring-aid."
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of fish. She was also
rather deaf, which was great for the children
in her class.
"What Mrs Smith needs," said one of her colleagues,
"is a
herring-aid."
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Biro
!
Biro who ?
Biro light of the moon !
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Who's there !
Biro
!
Biro who ?
Biro light of the moon !
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"ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION":You'll be making under $6 an hour.- - - - -"ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY":You're paid under $6 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.- - - - -"AN UP-AND-COMING SOFTWARE COMPANY":There's no chance in hell we'll be the next Microsoft.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Customer: Waiter, there's a button in my
salad.
Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.
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salad.
Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.
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Father: I want to take my girl our of this
terrible math
class.
Teacher: But she's top of the
class.
Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class.
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terrible math
class.
Teacher: But she's top of the
class.
Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class.
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