Marriage Jokes
|A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light!
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo.After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|Someone once took a large black ink marker and wrote "Help" on the bottom of the groom's left shoe and "Me" on the bottom of the right shoe. So when he knelt down for his vows, the entire congregation saw it. Of course, this will only work if he must kneel with back to congregation (i.e. Catholic wedding).
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|A groom buys the engagement ring at a jewelry store. As the groom enters the room, we "have been talking about" the news that says the jewelry store he just went to is being investigated for selling plastic diamonds to unknowledgeable customers. This didn't work too well but maybe if you have better actors in your group it would.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|Another on that I have seen pulled is to have someone speak out at the time the minister asks, "If anyone has good reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."They had a pregnant lady stand up and say, "Oh, never mind! I'll just call my lawyer!" It rattled the groom's mother so much that she fainted.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|At the rehearsal dinner for my boss' daughter and son-in-law-to-be, a loud eight-months pregnant teenage girl suddenly appeared at the back of the room screaming ten minutes worth of curses that would befall the groom if he didn't marry the pregnant girl like he promised.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|A groom's friends decided to throw his bachelor party the day before the wedding, and as often happens on these occasions, by the end of the evening, everyone was completely drunk, and none moreso than the guest of honor, who promptly passed out in a corner of the room.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
|Before a friend's wedding reception, we passed out keys (blanks) to several girls and one guy. Before some toasts were made, the best man said to the guests, "Now that Jim is married and is no longer available, it is probably a good idea to have any of you girls out there with a key to his apartment to please turn it in now.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
'I'm not going to school today,' Alexander
said to his mother.
'The teachers bully me and the boys in my class
don't like me.'
'Why ?'
'Firstly, you're 35 years old.
Secondly, you're the
principal.'
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said to his mother.
'The teachers bully me and the boys in my class
don't like me.'
'Why ?'
'Firstly, you're 35 years old.
Secondly, you're the
principal.'
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What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?Castrated.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A man walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful lady."May I buy you a drink?" the man asks the lady."Sure, but one thing I have to confess before you get intimate is that I was once a man," she responds.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced
fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The
worse your line is tangled, the better is the
fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't
make him
truthful.
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fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The
worse your line is tangled, the better is the
fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't
make him
truthful.
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Why don't mexicans have checking accounts?It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments
What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on
the sea ?
A catameringue !
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the sea ?
A catameringue !
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Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news, which shall I tell first? Patient: Uhhh, well, give me the bad news first, I guess.Doctor: You only have one week left to live.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
|OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expireOLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled overOLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for sixOLD DANCERS never die, they just step awayOLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouragedOLD DEANS never die, they just lose their facultiesOLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pullOLD
Category: Elderly Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly Jokes - 0 Comments
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego
set ?
A boa constructor !
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set ?
A boa constructor !
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Two Irishmen were walking down the street with
two salmon each under their arms.
Two other Irishmen
walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky
fishermen and ask "
how did you catch those ?"
Well its like this! Michael here
holds my legs over the bridge, and I
grab the salmon as they swim up
the river.
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two salmon each under their arms.
Two other Irishmen
walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky
fishermen and ask "
how did you catch those ?"
Well its like this! Michael here
holds my legs over the bridge, and I
grab the salmon as they swim up
the river.
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