Medicine
The following statements were found on patient's charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we're afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals: "The lab test indicated abnormal lover function." "Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassingproblem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, andthey have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less thantwenty times. What can I do?""Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris.
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Two gynecologists meet at lunch.The first one says, "I had a patient this morning witha clit like a dill pickle. The second one says,"That big or that green?"The first one says,"That Sour."
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left reartire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another cargoes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lugnuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain.
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked.So they went to a doctor, and got checked over.The doctor took time to reassure them. "Don't worry," he said, "Just takethis sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
A man went to his dentist because he feels somethingwrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says,"that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago iseroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "allI can think of is that about four months ago my wife madesome asparagus and put some stuff on it that wasdelicious...
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have badnews and goodnews. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, andwill need helpeating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."Harry says, "My God.
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii.As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said,"Look at the legs among that group.""Sorry old chap." replied the second doctor. "But I'm achest man myself."
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
"give me the bad news first.""You've got AIDS.""Oh, no! What could be worse than that?""You've also got Alzheimer's Disease.""Oh. Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on theedge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!""Why shouldn't I?" he said.I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!""Like what?""Well ... are you religious or atheist?""Religious.""Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?""Christian.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What happens if you cross a
midget and
a computer?
A: You get a short circut.
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midget and
a computer?
A: You get a short circut.
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My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that
if anything ever happens to her, I'll have to beg. I told her I'd
be
fine. I mean look at all the experience I've got.
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if anything ever happens to her, I'll have to beg. I told her I'd
be
fine. I mean look at all the experience I've got.
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One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP! HELP!' When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said, 'I want a boat.'The second boy said 'I want a truck.
Category: Politics - 0 Comments
Category: Politics - 0 Comments
Q: What do you get when you put an
experimental monkey in a blender?
A: Rhesus Pieces.
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experimental monkey in a blender?
A: Rhesus Pieces.
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Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?A: Because it kept falling out.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree ? - Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree ? - Because it was stapled to the monkey.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks.One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and start busting up his new car. They look back and the is smiling.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
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