Miscellaneous
What did the egg say to the boiling water?"I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!"Sent by Sarah
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituaryfor her recently deceased husband is published. After the editorinforms her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, shepauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Browndied'.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letterfrom his mother asking him to send her a current photoof himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to lether know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts aphoto in half and sends her the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send apicture to his grandmother.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What's the difference between a policeman's knightstickand a magician's wand?A: A Magician's wand is for cunning stunts.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
How do you tell two KKK members apart?Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother....
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?A: A quarter-pounder with cheese.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were alive today?A: Scratching on the lid of her casket.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?A pool table.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another and again tips it down her skirt.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
Husband, upon meeting ex- after two years of separation:"Listen honey, why don't we have a few drinks, dinner, go to my apartment and really make love?"Ex-: "Over my dead body!"Husband: "You haven't changed a bit"
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments
First snake:I hope I'm not poisonous.Second snake:Why?First snake:Because I bit my lip!
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
For Chocolate Lovers:If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Patient: Doctor, my
wife thinks I'm
crazy because I like sausages.
Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like
sausages too.
Patient: Good, you should come and see my collection. I've
got
hundreds of them.
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wife thinks I'm
crazy because I like sausages.
Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like
sausages too.
Patient: Good, you should come and see my collection. I've
got
hundreds of them.
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died. "You know, it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie, still crying, said "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
What do you call a dog with no legs?Hehe...it doen't matter, it's not going to come anyway!Sent by Melissa
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Mother: What
was the first thing you
learned in class?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
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was the first thing you
learned in class?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
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Q: How can
you tell Bill Clinton apart from
a cow?
A: By the wise look in the eyes.
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you tell Bill Clinton apart from
a cow?
A: By the wise look in the eyes.
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A man driving outside of Baltimore, Maryland was southbound on Interstate 95 in the far right hand lane traveling at 55 mph, minding his own business. He noticed in his rear view mirror that a Maryland State Trooper was right behind him. A mile later nothing changed, except now he's driving at 65 mph, the maximum limit.
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments
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