Miscellaneous
What did the egg say to the boiling water?"I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!"Sent by Sarah
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituaryfor her recently deceased husband is published. After the editorinforms her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, shepauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Browndied'.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letterfrom his mother asking him to send her a current photoof himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to lether know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts aphoto in half and sends her the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send apicture to his grandmother.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What's the difference between a policeman's knightstickand a magician's wand?A: A Magician's wand is for cunning stunts.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
How do you tell two KKK members apart?Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother....
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?A: A quarter-pounder with cheese.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were alive today?A: Scratching on the lid of her casket.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?A pool table.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another and again tips it down her skirt.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
How can ya tell when a woman has fucked too much?Ya put yer thumb in her ass, AND yer middle-finger in her cunt...Now, if ya can SNAP yer fingers, ya know she's been fucking too much..
Category: ROOT - 0 Comments
Category: ROOT - 0 Comments
They are: Her Doctor; he says, "Take your clothes off."Her Dentist; he says, "Open wide."Her Veterinarian; he says, "And how is your little pussy doing today?"Her Gardener; he says, "Do you want me to mulch your bush?"Her Hairdresser; he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"Her Interior Decorator; he says, "You'll like it once it's in.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: Why do bagpipers
walk when they
play?
A: To get away from the noise.
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walk when they
play?
A: To get away from the noise.
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Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job.
Category: Politics - 0 Comments
Category: Politics - 0 Comments
A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and had not been seen for five days.An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.The old man decided to go and see if they were all right.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
"Great news,
Mr. Oscarson," the
psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of
therapy, I can
pronounce you finally and completely cured of your
kleptomania. You'll
never be trapped by the desire to steal again."
"Gee, that's
great, Doc," the patient replied.
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Mr. Oscarson," the
psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of
therapy, I can
pronounce you finally and completely cured of your
kleptomania. You'll
never be trapped by the desire to steal again."
"Gee, that's
great, Doc," the patient replied.
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Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead
Sea?
Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!
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Sea?
Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!
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How are lawyers like sperm? One out of a million turns out to be a human being.
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Category: Legal - 0 Comments
Pig's explanation for the creation of the
Universe:
The Pig Bang Theory.
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Universe:
The Pig Bang Theory.
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