Ouch

A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?"
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This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks "Whats a failic symbol?Doctor says "you're kidding.."Girl says "no! I don't know! Whats a failic symbol???"Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says "You see? This is afailic symbol!"Girl says "Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller"
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This guy walks in to a bathroom. There is a hole in the wall, and a signthat says "put your dick in here, we'll do what your wife does for you". Sothe guy puts his dick in there, and they sew a button on it.
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Condom Modelling Rejection TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY 6969 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269Dear John Doe,We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, TROJAN CONDOMS.
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The following was contributed by Emil:A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- I'll have alarge whiskey please, barman." The man takes his whiskey and downs it. "Same again?" asks the barman. "Okay" says the man and downs the second.
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Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a prettygirl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?""Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk."That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards.
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Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a$100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviouslymuch better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two'gotchas'."The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it.And off they went.
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A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG ! He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG ! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
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The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any.
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Mirror, mirror A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions.
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