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A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?"
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks "Whats a failic symbol?Doctor says "you're kidding.."Girl says "no! I don't know! Whats a failic symbol???"Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says "You see? This is afailic symbol!"Girl says "Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller"
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
This guy walks in to a bathroom. There is a hole in the wall, and a signthat says "put your dick in here, we'll do what your wife does for you". Sothe guy puts his dick in there, and they sew a button on it.
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
Condom Modelling Rejection TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY 6969 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269Dear John Doe,We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, TROJAN CONDOMS.
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
The following was contributed by Emil:A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- I'll have alarge whiskey please, barman." The man takes his whiskey and downs it. "Same again?" asks the barman. "Okay" says the man and downs the second.
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a prettygirl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?""Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk."That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards.
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a$100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviouslymuch better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two'gotchas'."The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it.And off they went.
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG ! He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG ! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any.
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
Mirror, mirror A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions.
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Category: Ouch - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
What are crisp, like milk and go
'eek, eek,
eek' when you eat them ?
Mice Krispies !
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'eek, eek,
eek' when you eat them ?
Mice Krispies !
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A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just takento work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey,my secretary is a very hard-working girl.
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Category: At Work - 0 Comments
Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T.MEMORANDUMTO: All EmployeesFROM: Communications ServicesSUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAININGIn order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained though our Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Mum caught little Johnny jerking his meat off one day.She told him - "Johnny dearest, good boys save it till they're18."Johnny did. And by 18, he had 11 jars full!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
How does the captain know the aircraft is
safely at the ramp?
Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.
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safely at the ramp?
Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.
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|Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly."Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked."Yeth." lisped the farmer.
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Category: Farming Jokes - 0 Comments
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Anne
Boleyn !
Anne Boleyn who ?
Anne Boleyn alley !
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Who's there !
Anne
Boleyn !
Anne Boleyn who ?
Anne Boleyn alley !
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What is the definition of "derange"?
De place
where de cowboys ride!
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De place
where de cowboys ride!
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Sharon: I'm so homesick.
Sheila: But this is
your home!
Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.
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Sheila: But this is
your home!
Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.
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