Real Jokes

A Purple Heart proves three things: you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.10 second fuses only last 7 seconds. Anything you do can get you shot, even doing nothing. Claymores are labeled "This side toward enemy" for a reason. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks -"What's your problem, Soldier?""Chronic syphilis, Sir!""What treatment are you getting?""Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!""What's your ambition?""To get back to the front lines, Sir!""Good man!" says the Major.He goes to the next bed.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

An Englishman,
Frenchman,
Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane
when
the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having

mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is

for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can
survive"

The four open the door and
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

Diner: Why are the
waiters in here so
nasty?
Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks. "Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts. "Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely. "Listen!" he shouts again.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeastinfection.He was 71.Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the CaliforniaRaisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and the Hostess Twinkies.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

What do you call it when cows do battle in outer
space?
Steer Wars.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments